So of course I realize...

Its not September yet.

 Its only August 12. 

But freshman orientation is on Aug.19th this year(I swear it gets earlier every year).

So for me there is essentially one week of summer left. 

And with 2 ministry commitments, Monday night and Tuesday night,

 this week is going to go very fast.

So that is what gets me thinking about new beginnings.

And all of these life changes I have been going through has me thinking about new roads in my life.

This last year I seem to be standing before a fork in the road.

I can continue to do what I've been doing,

 and now with more time than I've ever had to really dive in.

 Get it really going. 

Crank out new patterns every month. 

Really use my expensive Constant Contact newsletter list on a regular basis.

This is the time I've been waiting for for so long.

But alas, as I stand here looking down the two roads,

I find that  my heart just isn't in it.

If I take the familiar turn, 

I have a big motivation problem.

I wish I could be simply motivated by money.

 But if that were true I'd be working some 9 to 5-er, and pulling in a steady income. 

Sadly, that is not what has ever gotten my juices flowing.

So I turn to the other road.

The unfamiliar road.

The road that has been there all my life, gently calling; 

but not loud enough to drown out my commitments of  family. 

Not louder than my desire to mold and nurture my 4 masterpieces; 

the ones that took me 26 years to complete.

 The ones that are almost there but not completely done.

The scary unfamiliar road that is also somehow soooo enticing.

I turn and look down, 

and I am beginning to understand what it is going to take to go down that road.

Commitment

 and letting go.

September always brings new beginnings...

For me, there are certain times of year that feel like starting points.

 Obviously January, the beginning of the new year for everyone.

 But also June, when school lets out and the pace of life promises to slow down.

 The quick paced routine of sports schedules, school days and extra curriculars that dominate my life all winter and spring give way to more relaxed summer mornings and slower days with more room in them to breathe. 

But then vacation rolls around and things get a little hectic, and summer guests come in and as the end of summer approaches we feel the urge to pack in as many summer-only events as we can.

 Art fairs, farmers markets, fishing time, and cook outs with friends.

But then September rolls around and it feels like another new beginning.

 The leisurely mornings are gone and the "pace" comes back,

 but with it also more uninterrupted studio time.

 And usually by the end of summer I am craving uninterrupted studio time.

The end of summer usually finds me planning what new pieces I'm going to work on, or items to add to my Etsy Shoppe.

 But this year is a little different.

 Because I'm getting a little more adjusted to my masterpieces having grown up and moved away. 

Only one left at home now,  and eagerly ready to start her freshman year in high school. 

The oldest now married and her own family begun.

 And the two guys, my awesome guys, happily planted at their prospective schools and plugging away at the lives they are building for themselves. 

I am infinitely proud of every one of them. 

But its a little different now. 

At first I didn't realize when I sent them off to college, they weren't coming back. 

I was as eager as them to find the right school; help them choose goals and get them everything they needed to embark on the next stage of their lives.

 It was exciting.

 Visiting schools, worrying over ACT scores, the joy of the acceptance letters.

Buying all the stuff, driving them there and helping them get set up.

 And the first year so exciting, calling often, hearing about classes and professors. 

But then, the inevitable, "Mom I'm not coming back this summer, I found a job..."

But I'm getting used to it, I really am.

And I'm beginning to think about myself, my life, my goals.

I want to paint.

I want to make fine art.

I don't want to"craft" anymore.

There is nothing wrong with crafting, believe me I have made a living on it for 15 years. I am its biggest champion!

 But I no longer want to create that type of thing.

I want to paint.

I want to be a traditional,
suffers for her art,
 works relentlessly in her studio all day,
creates amazing paintings that cannot be ignored,
truly,  live...

ARTIST.

I'm getting more adjusted to the idea of "me" time. 

And the idea of "me" time is serious art time.

But everything has a price.

 And for me the price means no more of this and no more of  this. 

Because they are a kind of crutch.
Theya re the tried and true things I do when I need money. 

And without them I will have to float for a while,
and try to re-create who I am
and what I'm putting out there.

And its a little,
ok a lot,
scary.

New journal cover

Art journal page

It took me forever to finish this spread. 

Art journal fun!

My palette

I got my new palette from Cheap Joes yesterday, and spent all morning setting it up and painting a picture of it. I put this painting in the scanner and it is just coming out so bright, it really looks better in real life. Maybe I should take a picture instead of using the scanner.

Anyhow,

 this is the way I have set up my palette for now. A lot of my colors are Koi and Cotman, and I would eventually like to replace them with Windsor Newton. Some of them are just not as transparent as WN.

I need to add a violet next, so I don't always have to mix it.

I love my new palette and I am learning so much about color mixing from this book:

It really explains everything so clearly.

A peach

A peach!

Brushes

I didn't produce much blog-worthy art over the weekend. I spent a lot of time watching watercolor videos on youtube. I still have a long way to go! LOL! This is the only one I really like from the last few days.

I ordered a bunch of books on watercolors from the library that I will pick up today. Our library has this awesome drive up window, so you can go online and choose books and they are waiting there conveniently at the window. It so totally rocks!

I am still waiting for my round palette from Cheap Joes, I hope it comes today!

3 Pears

Working my way through the Pear-ology workshop this is my work from yesterday. I still want to go in and add some darker tones in the shadow, and perhaps more shadowing between the pears. I have always had trouble building up enough contrast in my work.

I also want to do a study of the red pear-I feel like I could work up a more vibrant red somehow. I don't have the quinacrodome coral that Martha uses in the example, but I definitely want to get it. It is only sold at Daniel Smith, so I have to order it. I will have to wait until the budget allows. I am really pining for it because coral is my all time favorite color! In fact I am pining for ALL of the Daniel Smith quinacrodome colors!!

I hope I will have time for painting today. Not sure I will because the youngest has an awards ceremony at her school and I have to run my mother around on errands a little bit.

Have a wonderful day my friends!

Annie Beez Art

I have truly fallen in love with painting! Acrylics, watercolors, mixed media of all kinds! 

I am still making dolls, that I believe I will never leave behind. 

But I haven't really picked up a needle in some time.

 I think because I have the daunting task of altering my daughter Chelsea's wedding dress for her wedding in September, plus the alterations on my dress and my other daughter Isabel's, I need to put quilting and embroidery aside for a while.

But I am painting.

And I am loving it!

 If you would like to follow my art journey I have started a new blog just for that.

 Come join me!

AnniebeezArt

More art journal pages, and another page from Frolicaholic:

I'm taking an online workshop for Art Journaling

It is called 21 Secrets and it is super fun!

 There are 21 different artists who share their techniques with videos and PDF's. The whole workshop costs $59 and is available until the end of 2012. 

I think that's a pretty good value for the $. 

Of course I immediately gravitated to the workshop given by Jane Davenport, as I am totally smitten with her work, and she uses a lot of the supplies I am totally in love with. I have also previously taken a mini-workshop with Jane called Draw Happy-which
I totally loved and found inspirational.

SO,

that is one of the things that has been occupying my time lately, in between plans for my newest doll projects. Here is a little peak at some of the workshop work(play) I have done:

AND,

 On another note, 

thank you so much to all who participated in my poll. It will really help me to get a better idea of the techniques dollmakers would like to learn.

So thanks!

xx

~Annie

Art journal pages

Art Journal

New Art

I am still doing some art journaling and playing around with my art supplies. Here are some of the things I've been doing lately:

And a little more zen:

My son was in the hospital again, so I had plenty of time for doodling.

 He had his gall bladder out this time. He is so young, only 21. But it was completely non-functional, so it had to go. He is recovering pretty well and went back to college yesterday. Its been another crazy week though!

LOL!

xx

~Annie

Time to own up

If I seem to have disappeared from blogland, it is only because I have fallen into another painting jag. This seems to happen to me about every 18 months or so. I just feel the need to get out of crafty and into some fine art. I haven't been sewing, quilting, making dolls, doing any type of needlework, or anything. But I have been painting and drawing, rediscovering a lot of my old art supplies, and discovering a LOT of new ones!

Last time this happened I created this:

And this:

And way back I was creating things like this:

And now I am doing both; exploring mixed media, and drawing portraits. 

And also art journaling, zentangling,  lettering, and just plain painting!

So that is where I've been! Happily creating art!